What Do You Wish Women Knew About Men
What do you wish women knew about masculine respect?
I wish women knew more about men than what they learned on Tv or through media outlets. If women conceptualized men as people first, and men second it would lead women to a greater mutual respect both for and from men. Ladies, please understand there is no single definition of masculinity. Expectations and preconceived notions that women bring to the relationship can annihilate the relationships they share with men.
"The Black Marriage Movement (BMM) in cooperation with Black Men Who Blog, asked the following questions. The goal is to give some perspective on what some men wish women knew about them. Below, along with the questions, you will find my candid responses".
What does it mean to you? ( What is respect? )
Respect is a mutual behavior. It's the authentic act of displaying your care through words and deeds. It is a continuous cross-functional behavior that impacts all aspects of personal/interpersonal relationships. From feelings to communication, consideration, and expectations.
Respect based decisions and interactions decide how I receive your intentions. Your behavior affects the way I receive intentions, the way your words are heard, and even my assessment of your character. If I do not respect a person, even their good deeds are suspicious. Copious amounts of respect should always be displayed and enacted in romantic relations. It fosters an environment of hope, longevity and mutual affection.
How can women show respect and honor you in a way that makes you feel it?
There are all sorts of ways to show honor and respect. In fact, respect is as various as each personality. Think about the way I receive information from others. Use previous conversations I have held with you about others, unrelated gripe sessions, or scenarios that they have described.
When you have a picture of what the desirable behaviors look like, try to adopt those behaviors for yourself. This does not mean being inauthentic. Honor yourself with authenticity. Always be an asset to your team. Respect me by showing the world your best self and modeling behaviors we value. Most importantly I feel respected when you honor my desires, dreams, and aspirations. Relationships can't grow together without a sense of mutual honor and respect.
We Need to Talk
Have you heard about...
One of the perils of having men having female best friends is that you often get caught in the conversational crossfire. This catty conference covers a conversation where "Woman A" has said something that "Woman B" does not like and "Woman C" who is not involved in the conversation at all, takes offense to the comment. Although "Woman C", aka your bestie, is not involved, she is inclined to bring the topic to you and discuss it at length.
Regardless of your interest level (believe me its low), you are required to participate. Word to the wise, when your friend wants to have a conversation with you, and you are not interested in what she is saying, you better damn well act like it or you will never hear the end of it…ever! Especially with the latest trend of keeping receipts for behavior, there is always physical evidence that resurfaces to put the final nail in your coffin of condemnation.
How do men really feel about women with "natural hair"
Why didn’t I realize that this would be a controversial topic? If I knew I would be on the hot seat, I would have just nodded and kept my lips zipped. I don't know why there is a perceived or actual conspiracy about natural hair. Do men really care one way or the other?
The way style and fashion are set up these days, hairstyles are as varying as clothes, even when worn by one person. When I think of the all the different styles women wear, it's really cool. Your personal style is an accessory to your personality. The way a woman styles her hair can vary according to her mood, her political affiliations, beliefs, customs or any number of things. Most of all, women should have fun with their style, not trapped or confined by convention.
Can you pick it
According to my good friend, a deeper conversation is going on behind the natural hairstyle movement. There is an automatic judgment that comes along with claiming this otherwise innocuous style for yourself. I have heard the conversations.
From the workplace to the casual stranger in public everyone has had something to say. Everyone judges everyone, it is the only way to facilitate understanding. The problem is when people consider their assumptions as fact rather than a starting point for understanding.
The odd thing is, it works both ways. The "chemical free" women reclaimed something lost to them during the relaxer revolution. The relaxed ladies accuse naturalistas of no longer caring about their appearance. Natural hair requires much more time and effort than relaxed hair. The relaxer rangers say the naturalistas accuse them of encouraging a disingenuous appearance. Both sides believe men force them into style templates created by the media, templates focused on European standards.
There are other things to look at
From a male perspective, I don’t think that it matters. I know that men have varying degrees of interest in the female appearance, but I believe most of that has to do with weight and style more than hair. That is a completely different article and we are not inviting Pandora to dinner tonight. The hair is part of the total package.
That is a completely different article and we are not inviting Pandora to dinner tonight. The hair is part of the total package. I would like to encourage all women regardless of their hair choice, to focus on what works for them, their values and their lives. Interested suitors will come.
I can't help but laugh
I must admit that I get unlimited entertainment from the YouTube natural-hair care tutorials. The hosts tell other ladies to put everything from ketchup and mustard to olive oil and mayo on their hair. Sometimes, you can't tell if you're doing a hair treatment or a salad. Best of all is when they show up to work or a date after one of those fails without being able to salvage the style! Check this out
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MaWMMn_EpM[/embedyt]
Warning: Do not laugh while they are around if you want to live or not be verbally accosted.
Done
If you create a style for yourself that suits you and allows you to exude the confidence you deserve, I am all for it. If you, are unsure and need constant validation about your choice, you just keep on showing up at the salon, or popping into the CVS to get "The Cream". My advice, do what makes you feel best about you. Give up on trying to please people who are gonna think something very different from you intend at almost every turn.
You Didn't Come to Help, So Why Are You Here?
Look at me!!
Today and every day for the last 100 or so years, the lips of the activist and shit-stirrers alike have flapped religiously to the same tune. At the root of the discourse among the activists, is altruism, therefore I assign no fault to their efforts. Their efforts have persevered from generation to generation, attempting to plow through roadblocks, barriers, and illogical mechanisms implemented to deny the rights of many people. I ask you, with sincerity and conviction, if you didn't come to help why are you here?
[bctt tweet="“The desperate usually succeed because they have nothing to lose.” " username="wwregg"] another side to this conversation concerns those who have no goals beyond the personal. They thrive in the zone of self-indulgence and myopic focus. Slimy and slinking, they slide into
Another side to this conversation concerns those who have no goals beyond the personal. They thrive in the zone of self-indulgence and myopic focus. Slimy and slinking, they slide into a heated debate and slither back out before facing the consequences of their inarticulate ramblings.
"All I need is a computer connection, an internet connection that is. That’s all it will take for me to become a scholar on the topic of the day. I know all about these racists, and why they want to keep success to themselves. I want my turn and I want it now. You won't block my shine."
The activists are not why we are here
We have come to talk about the masses of careless hands. The egomaniacal, who have taken to the internet to have their moment adjacent to relative popularity, despite the cost.
Momma never listened before, but if I write this article and go viral she will know I’m special. They have all kinds of books in the half of half off bookstore. I have enough time to read at least three chapters worth of subheadings before I get off the bus. I’ll know all there is to know before this evening and famous in the morning. #winning *(note to self, make a quick reference guide of famous black folks who fought for the cause. I’ll sound smart if I spell their names right).
You talk too often, about nothing
Your talking has only detracted attention from legitimate discourse about race relations, or the lack thereof. Your opportunity to make Momma proud has come at the expense of an entire political movement. Your need for attention has obstructed a necessary dialogue. The high cost of soothing your underdeveloped understanding and your overdeveloped sense of importance is far more expensive than any of us are willing to pay.
Believe me, the conversation going on around the world is of the greatest importance. The only way to propel any sort of change is to talk about it. There is no specific qualification for joining the global intervention. My intent in writing any of this is about the quality of, and the motives behind the contribution of its participants. If you share your thoughts with the public, via any medium, because you have the desire to see humanity progress towards unification, shout it on every corner.
[bctt tweet="If you share your thoughts with the public, via any medium, because you have the desire to see humanity progress towards unification, shout it on every corner." username="wwregg"]
Focus on you, then contribute
To those you who sound off, merely to hear the reverberations of your own voices, to encourage descent and turmoil, or to gain the notoriety you have chased during your dull existence, save it. We don’t want any.
Instead, we want you to take a moment to figure you’re your own mess. You are of no service to yourself, nor to your community until you have come to the only reasonable conclusion, there will be no cultural harmony until each person realizes that we all need one another to thrive and survive.
This concludes our regularly scheduled rant, join us next week when will discuss the perils of synthetic hair extensions, why men don’t like kitten heels.
Check in with me, let me know your thoughts. Feel free to agree or not, just speak up!
Regg
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You Screwed Up, She Smiled, Want to Know Why?
Why are you smiling?
Have you ever heard the expression, never let the right hand know what the other is doing?
Let me explain, the theory is make sure you keep everything in its place. If you separate the business and the personal, it allows you to keep things smooth, and successfully manage interpersonal relationships. This is especially true when it comes to money. So, what do you do when you are married to someone who employs that strategy when it comes to your marriage, vital information, and the money?!
Money is not necessarily the primary issue if this is going on in your relationship, but who couldn’t use more than they have? You begin to notice that when the two of you do argue over money, she keeps an unconcerned attitude. Eventually, the tensions escalate and you are embroiled in a full scale blow-out. You tell her you do everything that you can to make her happy, up to and including buying the things that she wants. (uh-oh).
She says “ I don’t need you to do anything for me sweetie”, and smiles that smile you know leads to bad news.
Your wife has been stashing cash on the back end, in a “rainy day account”.
Now you understand why every time you screw up she smiles. You have just realized its because she knows she is going to double her deposit this week, and you will be too consumed with your own foolery to know any better.
This account is also known as, “he’s got me fucked up, and I have to show him a thing or two, that I don’t need you and I have my own shit so you can just go live with your new woman account”.
Question, are you pissed or are you glad that she was financially savvy enough to plan?
In this instance, I am a bit of a hypocrite. I both agree and disagree, but let me be more specific. I agree that she should have her independence and individuality. I do not agree that she should have a secret account. My good friend Nat says “separate does not equal secret”.
If said wife, was my wife, we would have a damn problem.
- So, you been skimming the bill maybe net or naw?
- There is this little thing called misappropriation of funds, so now I need some of that money back.
- Why don’t I know how much money you make?
Dear wife,
You have been stealing and lying. You have basically decided that you needed money more than we needed money, and now I hope you have a good reason. I now need you to prove that none of the money in your secret stash landed there as a result of re-purposing the cash that I contributed to the household. I also want to know what other secrets you have been keeping. Don’t let me find out that you are secretly a madam and have not given me an opportunity to invest in the business or test the merchandise. That is foul. Just saying you have to believe in your product. (Kidding mostly).
Sincerely Husband
P.S. Seriously the issue is that you are saying that you have no faith in our relationship nor its longevity.
To my daughters, hi-five baby girl
Dad is so proud of you! You listened to the things that I said to you over and over as you grew up.
Remember what I told you
- Never let anyone convince you that you don’t need to make your own money.
- Do not let yourself become accustomed to a lifestyle that you are not able to provide for yourself
- Keep one eye on the prize and the other one on him.
You have no idea how much you have comforted me with the knowledge that you have not left your future to the success of that shiftless fool that you married. It is my absolute opinion that all women should enter a relationship fully prepared to care for themselves financially, should the situation present itself. Take care that the majority of the preparation happens before the relationship begins.
Young women, don’t enter relationships with anyone who does not represent the goals you have for yourself, but you must also possess those qualities. Think of it this way, if you can afford steak for dinner every night, you are not going to turn up at McDonald’s, unless you are feeling nostalgic for days when you ate ramen out of styrofoam and drank 40’s on the porch while wearing your headscarf.
Focus on You Not Your Problems : How to Remove Extra Stress
The Enemy of Perspective
If you are anything like me, stress is always right around the corner. Waiting to creep in and make sure that I continue to act just a little left of center. I hear people talk about how stressed out they are, and there is always a common thread. People talk about stress as if it is a momentary thing that will pass if they wait long enough. Waiting for stress to pass is equal to waiting for America to be "great again". You know what I'm saying.
Grab the remote to the DVR that is your life and create a program you can manage.
Stop yourself
It’s important to stop yourself, when you are simply doing way too much. Think about how to look at your big picture. If you have a look and you are in control of every aspect of that picture you have successfully done way too much, poorly. No one can do everything in their life without the help of others. If you have deluded yourself into believing that its possible, you may need to assess your commitment to reality. Understand the role you play in your chaos, and remember what’s important in your life.
Wine Down
Grab a glass and have a seat. A good show, good company, or an enjoyable book pair well with a glass of wine. A nice libation is always appropriate after a stressful day or week. It does not solve whatever you have going on, so don't overdo it, but it can give you a moment of repose to collect your thoughts and start again refreshed.
Call that person that knows how to keep quiet:
Get in touch with that one fiend you can talk to without judgement, or the on who will not interject helpful advice. When you are looking for advice you know where to find it, but occasionally you don't want help, you just want a friendly ear and someone to say "it's gonna be OK"
Reclaim Your Perspective
As you begin to create habits that build positivism in your life, it is easier to remember an abbreviated high-impact list that represents your larger systemic approach.
I will pursue: Knowledge expansion, a satisfying job that supports my life, serving my community, and reinforcing my happiness
I will avoid: Working for a job title only, attention seeking, slacking, unadulterated materialism
Take the time to articulate your worries
The things that give us the most stress or anxiety, is sometimes faceless or immaterial. Think about what is on your plate and what you will need to solve to maintain the continuity in your life. Consider the things that you have control over and not stressing about forcing uncontrollable things to match your vision. Never, no matter how tempting, hold on to feelings of entitlement, resentment, hate, or doubt.
Here are some ways to get it done.
Bop to it:
Music is often my personal escape. I think of music as an on-call therapist in my pocket. Good tunes can lift you up and out of your current state of mind and put you in a place of Zen. Keep some of your favorite tunes on your phone, and leverage them when you feel like lashing out.
Burn the page:
Writing is the savior of all men. If you do not fancy yourself a fantastic writer, who cares. No one may ever see what you write, however writing gives your feelings and thoughts physicality. Expressing yourself through text can lift you up and out of your funk. I suggest going old school, there is something about pen to paper that holds the magic of catharsis.
Ignore something once a day:
Say no often. Saying no is the best thing you can teach yourself. Don't say no and stress, refuse to wonder how a person feels about your response. Give yourself the option to shut the world off and do you. Brief periods of downtime is the only way to maintain your sanity, and protect yourself from over-stimulation.
Nothing happens all at once
Figure out how to have some patience. This is a big one for me, since I am quite possibly the most impatient person I know. When things are not going according to plan, reevaluate the plan rather than allowing the frustration to creep in. The way you perceive your situation has the potential to close all windows and doors to possibility. Keep that shit open.
Do stuff you actually like:
Pick the productive thing that you enjoy most and do that. Hobbies, hanging out, whatever it is that you’re really enjoy, and not those things that you tell people you enjoy to further your pretentiousness.
Ownership:
Don't feel like taking ownership of your situation means blaming yourself for 100 percent of the thing you don't like about your life. You are really saying, this is my situation and this is what I can do about. If you find yourself in a complex situation, set micro-goals, or things that you can accomplish easily and quickly.
Small goals allow you to begin progression quickly, while simultaneously giving you a sense of accomplishment. All you must do is begin. Remember, never let go of hope, gratitude and curiosity!!
Nobody Believes That You Hate Social Media
Why do you need us to believe it?
Are the people who claim to hate social media really being honest? Some who vehemently denies their use or their enjoyment of social media normally has a hidden agenda. Honestly, there are days when I feel like social media represents the worst of humanity.
I find the implicit claim or objection to social media troublesome at best. Primarily the unspoken accusation leveled at those who participate fuels my abhorrence of the people who make these claims.
Nose turned up and eyes cast down, as if their objections solidify their individuality and their ascension beyond the entertainments of us regular folks. Consider what you hate about social media must a greater connection to your own inadequacies than the faceless platform that you so egregiously cast out like yesterday's garbage.
Assuming we believe, you believe you
Let's leverage our imaginations, we can assume that you dislike it for more authentic reasons. You decided that virtual communication has created barriers that have disconnected us from one another, or decreased our individual abilities to connect during face to face experiences.
I recently read an article, accusing people of apathy towards the latest social tragedies, and that their protests were ineffective simply because they were not being actioned in a physical space. The accusation was, at its core, attacks the ease of virtual protests.
Simply because we can continue to scroll or make our united electronic stand without getting dressed, does not negate the veracity of its assertion. When social media protesting organized virtually during it’s infancy, it does not imply that there will be no subsequent physical action. Action does not always equal sincerity nor relevance.
We are not advocating for the endless connectivity that is social media, since I recognize its destructive powers as well. We have witnessed the distress caused by cyber bullying and the insidious things that people are willing to say from the safety of their home, but never in person.
The behavior tolerated in the public-school system can often carry the same or greater stress than young people experience online or by watching reality TV. Behavior is learned through mimesis; young children often have difficulty distinguishing between reality and virtual experiences.
Nevertheless, kids have been fighting, bullying, and tormenting one another for years. This is not an excuse for injurious behavior, it is just factual. The governing force known as parents, must exert a greater control of their children's environment. Who is doing the raising?
I will say what everyone is thinking
Bye !
Just because you access Facebook through a browser, and are too ashamed to have the app on your phone, does not mean that we don't know you are still accessing your dilapidated profile. I saw that accidental tweet that you hurriedly deleted, which is why my I see you comment didn't go through. You are still lurking, following, and keeping up with folks’ business.
People get off on proclaiming their disconnection from digital communities because in their minds it means they are mature. " I don't need that kind of drama in my life" they say. Does being social instantly equate with drama or is that just in your case? They believe that it means they don't need the inclusion all while they really desire it. They reveal a thinly veiled attempt to act is if they do not desire the connections and conversation they crave.
It's ok castaways, come back we promise to be nice this time. We are not all cyber bullies, just cut the crap. Don't feel like you don't have a place in the digital ecosystem. Claim the virtual existence you deserve, use it at your leisure and turn your devices off when you have had enough. There is not right and wrong answer but the all or nothing approach serves no one. Some use it for fun, and some for evil, just remember the block button is your safe word.
Artist Spotlight: Niia
Niia is ready to grab her moment
Watch out! Niia is coming for the neo-r&b princesses and she wants to give them a run for their money this year. Yuna started out strong, but Niia insists there is room at the top for them both. Either way, she has kicked the door in and made her presence known.
Niia Bertin started as a student of jazz, while working as voice talent for an advertising agency. Everyone has to start somewhere, and in her interview with Highsnobiety, she discussed her beginnings without the slightest bit of shame or remorse. If you haven't seen this interview, check it out and you will see the same laid back vibe that you get when you listen to her music.
For the classically trained pianist and jazz vocalist, meeting Wyclef Jean – who soon became her mentor – was just the kind of auspicious career start she’d dreamed of. Yet the clear-cut path soon gave way to twists, turns and road blocks as Niia struggled to find her signature sound and figure out who she wanted to be as an artist.
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nx1KzkZywc[/embedyt]
If you want to get the "low-down" on Niia's biographical facts, then you can click (here) to read more details about her humble beginnings.
The skinny
I'm here to give you quick details about what you really want to know.
Niia’s voice is impressive here, but without stronger narratives to reinforce it, the instrumentals emerge as the record’s most enthralling element. To that end, I sets a refreshing vibe that brings to mind groups like Quadron and Zero 7, evoking a grown-up ethos tailor-made for yacht parties or chill Sundays at home. Yet without distinct standouts, *I *fades into the backdrop, resulting in a decent album that’s a bit too comfortable.
The sound
Niia is pure silk. Her voice is comparable to Paula Cole on anti-depressants, or Corinne Bailey-Rae with good production and a decent song writer. As a special treat, her production team recruited Jazmine Sullivan for one of the stand out tracks, "Sideline".
- The album is 87% fantastic
- You can find it on iTunes and Spotify
- Yes it is worth the listen
Listen to these tracks first
- Hurt You First 3:35
- Sideline 4:21
- Nobody 4:09
- Girl Like Me 3:30
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/embed?listType=playlist&list=PLqJ_b8IWlEQMHRN6AM6EipX959YpmUYUW&v=-pqWWS_3r4E&layout=gallery[/embedyt]
Sza releases the video for "Supermodel"
This is a must see because SZA is on fire these days! No intro necessary.
Ask Anything: Millennials who will not move out
You have a millennial who will not move out?
Welcome back folks! The QOTD (question of the day) comes from our nosy friend Robyn. Robyn listens to the complaints of her co-workers. She has clearly taken lending an ear one step further than required.
She asks,
" What is your opinion about young adults that choose deliberately to stay with their parents after they pass adulthood? I am talking for people above 22~25 yo that prefer to stay with their parents…I believe it makes you become less assertive with your life…and it is a major turn off as I have seen many of them having trouble connecting with other people."
Just a little shadow and not complete shade
As is customary, before I actually go ahead an answer the question, I have a couple of words for Robyn.
- If I were your co-worker, and I found out that you had written in to a website to get an answer to some business that isn't even yours, it would be our last day working together. YOU FEEL ME?
- I assume you mean well, but you are nosy AF, like really really nosy.
- Thank you for your question, because I'm nosy too and I would never want to miss the opportunity to get the scoop! :-P
All young people are different
It is pretty obvious that all young people are not the same. The problem is, while we know and acknowledge this, we continue to force our youth down a uniform path of development. Imagine that some children are more artistic than others. Artists have a very different path to success than those who choose more stereotypical normal careers.
Many artists go to school for 4-6 years to develop their skills in a particular medium, but discovery or critical acclaim will vary according to a variety of influences beyond their control.
Others, who decide to attend college for accounting will spend roughly the same amount of time developing their skills, but they will likely find a job before their artistic contemporaries are discovered.
[bctt tweet="Young people are often adversely impacted by those who wield influential power over them." username="wwregg"]
"As clinicians and educators, I think we have collectively failed to monitor our own thinking about this population. We know that thoughts lead to feelings, and feelings can lead to actions. Are we applying this knowledge to ourselves in our work with young adults?
We should acknowledge that we have chosen certain beliefs about young adults and, as such, these cognitive structures are negatively influencing our experience of working with this population.
Who determines what is normal? Struggling is a word often used with this population. They are certainly not thriving and not succeeding like their counterparts, who have not been labeled as “struggling.” Even the term late bloomer, which on the surface seems gentler, indicates that these individuals are not on time in their development."
Real is still real
Does this mean that we should allow kids to stay at home with a clock that never runs out? That would be a hell no! There has to be some structure around the choices that young people make.
A free ride is not good for anyone. This is the perfect age to remind them that the life they live is not really their own. Allowing them to stay and taking care of them is two very different things.
While you don't want them to be homeless, this does not mean that you have to make it easy. Don't do their laundry. Stop buying their favorite snacks from the grocery store.
Remove as many luxuries as possible to make sure that their discomfort is their motivator. Also, consider putting some timelines in place. Make sure they know that even though they are not in their chosen profession, the will need a job and an actionable plan. I think you get my point Robyn.
Now put this in your own words and tell your co-worker, plagiarism is not a victim-less crime. 8-O
Have a question that you need a good real answer to. Email me!
Don't feed us your BS success story
About that BS success story
We are over the “one day it just happened with out me doing anything” narrative that you love to share. Most of you are lying. If you garnered any type of success by publishing a post or an article it was on purpose.
You want us to believe that you wrote for months or years without result and were content to wait for your moment. Occasionally, you tell us that your third article went viral, afterward no one cared and things went back to normal. You continued to write until you were “discovered”. You insist that you didn’t care about the money or the attention, you did it for the art.
We call bullshit.
Most, if not all, of us care about the art, the expression, and the contribution to community. We want the other shit too!
What we think when you talk
You may not want to share your secret sauce but there is a recipe. Maybe it’s one that only works only for you. It could be true, your work garnered more attention than you ever imagined. Regardless, you intended to get a result.
Where are the people willing to be honest about what it takes to have the sort of success that every new blogger wants?
We get it, the mystique adds to the appeal. We want you to know that it also adds to the frustration and does not increase our estimation of your talent nor our admiration for you. Understanding there is no magic spell or wand to wave, that there is no one size fits all, we know there is no one coming to guide us to the literary promise land.
We know you want to feel special, even the most modest writers do. You want us to believe that you are one in a million, that many but few succeed.
What is your truth?
Are you ashamed of never really working hard? Maybe, you are embarrassed to share too much, that the mystifying curtain of pretense will come crashing down, exposing the truth of your “expertise”.
We the masses have had enough of your inflated ego and marginal writing, subsequent listicles and lengthy tirades about the luck that landed on your doorstep.
We really want
For once, we would love for the glittery rags to riches prodigies to say
“I tried really hard and sucked for a long time before I got any traction”.
“I joined a million useless Facebook groups and begged relatives to click-through my site to mask the failing heartbeat of my marooned blog”.
We have come so far from Oz, and we sure as shit aren’t Dorothy, so let’s have some fucking truth for a change you great and powerful wizards.
Artist Spotlight: Goapele
Artist Spotlight: Goapele
Before you get started about how she is not a new artist. Let me just tell you that she is definitely an under served artist. Goapele is super talented and packs each of her albums with the music that challenges you to think, while also conjuring sexy soulful emotions. If you don't believe me take a look at this clip! She has a secret 8-), and it seems like it's a really good one!
https://twitter.com/Goapele/status/884849148192845824
In one breath, she’s urging social change and boldly standing up for righteousness in the face of inequality; the next, she’s guiding her child with a sensitive understanding, hard-earned wisdom, and unconditional love. Finally, she’s as seductive and soulful as ever seamlessly slipping from activist, mother, and poet to temptress. This delicate sonic shape-shifting is a technique she introduced on her now classic 2001 debut Closer, but she hones it to perfection on Dreamseeker.
https://twitter.com/Goapele/status/817281535804133376?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.drum.co.za%2Fcelebs%2Fcassper-nyovest-and-goapele-in-studio%2F
A little info
I became a fan when she released closer. That song unlocked the door to a torrid love affair with her music and I have been a fan ever since. The overall sound is like a haute coutoure gown that glides over the body and hugs in all the right places. She blends trip-hop, traditional R and B, and pop music all into one tidy package. On the other hand, when she tours, she prices her tickets like she is Whitney Houston, so that is a complete no go for me. As much as I love her music, she does not put on the kind of show that warrants a 200 dollar ticket just for the privilege of standing in the front. Grown men do not stand in kiddie pits so we can sing, sway side to side, and light cigarette lighters during the emotional moments.
The new album, Dreamseeker is a mix of what you would expect from her. She sings with her normal style that blends her statuesque femininity with her smooth and soothing powerhouse vocals. Her lyrics are pure poetry, as she takes on controversial topics, and issues relative to her life as well as others. Many do not know that she is an activist as well as a philanthropist. Maybe that's why her concert tickets are so expensive. (Still salty)
Goapele participates in raising awareness. She is active in the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, and recently starred in a short film, Where Is Beauty, which covers the pressures women endure from social media and normative standards of beauty.
What you need to know
Overall I rate this album 8 out of 10. I think she is still going strong and I will definitely be rocking to this. I do not however, think this is her most creative or relative work. Some of the tracks are really over done and she does tend to slip into what everyone else is doing with new hooks over familiar beats. I do enjoy that, but I don't necessarily think its creative. Stand out tracks: Secret, Bright as the Sun, Stay (feat. BJ the Chicago Kid), and Power.
[bctt tweet=" Stand out tracks: Secret, Bright as the Sun, Stay (feat. BJ the Chicago Kid), and Power." username="wwregg"]
Really, in that order.
Check out some of the songs below and let me know if you agree. Cant wait to hear your feedback!
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