Ask Anything: How do I tell my husband that he is no longer good enough for me?

Fit and DIvorced

Today’s question

How do I tell my husband that he is no longer good enough for me? I got fit. I got promoted. There are dozens of men at my work that are better looking, drive better cars, stay in larger homes, that have manifested interest in me. I decided I deserve more and better.


I had to let this question sit in my spirit a little.  Anyone who has made a substantial change in their lifestyle will have the tendency to reevaluate their circumstances.  As someone who has experienced this, I can relate.  Once, I was heavier than I am today.  At my heaviest, I was 580 pounds, at 6ft 5in.  I didn’t think that I looked that bad, but I was in denial.  I had a weight loss surgery, and boy did it change more than just the number on the scale.  As I began to lose weight,  the dormant parts of my personality resurfaced.  It felt really good to be the person I always wanted to be, but was too embarrassed because of my weight.

 It’s ok to feel better about you

This kind of thing has a tremendous impact on the way that you see yourself and the way you feel when interacting with others.  This brings me to my point.  You mentioned that you were starting to receive attention from the men at work.  The newly found attention has more to do with the way you feel about you than the way you look.  I am not naive, however, it is clear that your “improved” figure has something to do with the attention as well. That being said, I am going to have to go ahead take my sensitivity hat off.

With all due love and respect

You are totally full of shit.  Did your marriage vows mean anything to you?  I hope that you have left some details out of this story that will upgrade my opinion of the kind of person you are.  You really need to do something to soothe the materialist beast that is taking over in your life.  How do you know that the men at work, with the better cars and homes are actually better?  How do you know they are not abusers, keeping a spare ass whipping on hold for you? Perhaps they are jealous, controlling, and unwilling to allow you the same freedom as your current husband.  There are millions of hypothetical situations I could conjure to correct your momentary lapse into ignorance, but I will stop here.

Final Answer

What i will say, your current state of mind is temporary.  You may be successful at keeping your figure but your insides will continue to be fucked up as long as you continue in this current vein of immaturity.  Sex, money, cars, all fade.  Unless you no longer value your current relationship, you need to sit the hell down somewhere.  We still love you tho sis  🙂

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Add yours
  1. 1
    Brian Simmons

    WTH. So is it till death do us part…OR till 100 pounds do us part? That’s real shady. You need to work on fixing your heart just like you fixed your body.

  2. 3

    WOW.. So your husband loved you through the good and bad times ( and your fat days), how are you going to try to leave because you think you are fine? What happens if you find a new man and then put all that weight back on. Trust me the grass my look greener on the on the other side but its not my dear. Some man giving you attention for a few weeks to get the goods is not in your best interest. Your worked on improving your body now improve your relationship.

    @ Reggie the smiley at the end didn’t make this pill any easier to sallow.

    • 4

      The smiley at the end was everything. I was trying to show support!! p.s. your pill was not any sweeter but it was all truth.

  3. 5
    Courtney Gran

    This is a really interesting post! I haven’t read too many blogs that do a question and answer section like this, and I actually really like it. Great idea. I agree with your sentiments in your response. Marriage vows are important and while I can understand that a new appearance can make someone feel like a different person, that is part of the challenges of being in a relationship. People change throughout the marriage, but you have to find a way to work together so your relationship can survive. Really enjoyed the post! Thanks for sharing.

  4. 6

    Thank you for your comment, and yes, its really strange to decide you spouse is not worth it anymore. I keep coming by, I love hearing what you guys have to say.

  5. 7
    K Gee

    Wow, just like my friends on FB showing their innermost thoughts upon the election of #45, she too has revealed her truth. No one will fault you for wanting to grow and the harsh reality is that your spouse might not be interested in growth and you drift. That’s called “irreconcilable differences”…this is a case of “delusions of grandeur”. This was never about her marriage, only about her popularity. What goes around, comes around. Looks like common sense fades with a shrinking waistline. I’ll just stay fat. ?

    • 8

      ???? they common sense isn’t … But your observation is spot on. I really hope sanity rebounds in her life.

  6. 9
    Chris Denaro

    Hopefully she doesn’t realize the error in judgment too late – to go through life seeking happiness through personal belongings is pretty damn empty – I just hope she understands that sooner rather than later. Good stuff.

  7. 11

    What is ‘more’ or ‘better’? Is he unattentive or abusive? She gave no real insight as to what she meant by that, but she did go into all of these material things that make these other guys more appealing. Therefore, I am going to assume that her husband is a good guy (minus the stupid material things that she mentioned) and I feel sad for him. If he has been a good husband to her and loved her thru the ‘fat’ then she should share her new found body with him and not even entertain the thought of ‘what could be’ because it probably won’t. I hope that she is having a temporary moment of insanity and this is not a character flaw. If not, we need to start a support group for the soon to be ex husband ?. #ShesAJerk

    • 12

      Right on sis. I felt like I’d he had done something she would have been happy to share that since she put his financial bidness out in the streets. Just saying.

  8. 13
    Toya Tate

    This is complete and utter bullshiiiii…she was always a hoe and never had the confidence to be now she is ready to go bussin it open everywhere, while the one who loved her fat ass gets kicked to the curb?!?!?! It’s one thing to work and compromise together but she needs to have a stadium full of seats..smh

    • 14

      You know what, you are up way past your bed time. I feel you tho, don’t lose weight and your mind. She took it way to seriously. You can’t change you body but if you mind is wrong then that’s a different kind of help. Just saying.

  9. 15
    KM Word

    “keeping a spare ass whipping on hold for you?” Can I start there please? lmbo!!! You hit the nail on the head. I always feel like if you loved someone enough to marry them then at the bad and stagnant times that’s when you do work to get it back to what it was. Why her hubby couldn’t gain muscle or lose weight too? Why couldn’t they do it together? Why they can’t make goals to have the cars, house, etc. together? She ain’t shit bottom line and I wish her all the Lil Debbie snacks and Mrs. Baird’s white powdered donuts in the world!

    • 16

      Something about the way that you phrased that makes me feel like somewhere, down deep where it matters, we are the same person! I think it is fantastic that you just get it! I may have to have you come write for my site. We can call it Kackle with Kellee

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