Save money buying a car

Use These 4 Car Buying Tips to Save You Money Today

Car buying is a confusing, high-pressure decision. This is an important financial decision, and if it is your year to buy a car there are some things you need to know. Don't get stuck paying for a car you barely like for the next 72 months.

I want you to have a positive car buying experience so let's talk about what you need to consider.

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Timing

For most car models, design updates are released in the fall, or around October or November.  This means that the dealer is ready to get rid of last year's models. Wait until the end of the calendar year and buy a model from that same year, you will get the best deal.

Also, ask the dealer for any demo cars they may have for sale.  These cars have low mileage and have never been titled so technically they are still new.  These will have large discounts that go above and beyond the manufacturer rebates. If you are can't wait until the end of the year to purchase, then wait until the last weekend of the month.  The dealer has to pay a fee for every car that remains on the lot every 30 or 60 days, and they are willing to give more of a discount at month-end on cars that have already been on the lot for a long time.

Never wait until you need a car to buy one.  Taking the time to plan and purchase BEFORE you need a car plays a huge part in getting the best deal. Desperate decisions don't end well. Be rational for this important buy.

Research

Before making any large purchase, learn as much as possible about what you are buying. Take the time and figure out exactly which car you want.  The make, model, color, trim and anything else unique to the car. Instead of going to multiple sites for this, head to Cars.com where you can find all the cars in one place. Whether it's for the current year model or prior models, you can find all the information there.

Locate your car at multiple dealers in the area and see which dealer has the best prices.  You will want to find multiple cars at that dealer that you like. In my experience, popular cars will sell out before you have the opportunity to get to the dealer.  Have a couple of backup dealers and cars in mind before you start the buying process.

Dealer

Where you buy your car plays a big role in getting the best deal.  You should choose a dealer that is fair and reputable.  The differences between dealers are more important when you are shopping for a used car. There is no way to easily compare prices on used cars because they are all different.  You should try to buy used cars from new car dealers or from large chains, like CarMax.

Purchasing cars from independent "We Finance" dealers, aka, "Tote the Note" dealers can be a bad experience. These dealers are not able to give you the best deal because they bear all of the risks associated with the car deal.  They own the inventory and they're responsible for the financing and servicing of car loans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfzxk8TqIRM&list=WL&index=31

New car dealers can usually make a decent profit because of volume, but independent dealers have to make up the profit elsewhere. You will have to pay a much higher rate of interest when you buy from these dealerships.  The prices are also much higher than you would pay for a similar car at a bigger dealer. They target buyers who do not have established credit and have trouble getting financing.

Another reason "We Finance" options are not ideal is they do not always report your payments to the credit bureaus.  People with limited or bad credit who buy cars from these vendors will continue to have limited or bad credit. It's important to have your car loans reported to the credit bureaus to help you build or rebuild your credit.

If you feel like you do not have sufficient credit for traditional finance options, think again.  There are options for subprime lending through reputable dealerships and the interest rates will not be predatory.

Negotiation

You probably know that negotiation is a large part of car buying.  However, if you execute the first two steps in this post successfully, this step will be easier.  If you have a trade-in, there may be a little negotiating, but dealers do not usually budge from their initial quote.

The common advice is to check Kelly Blue Book for what your trade is worth.  Not true.  Every time I have traded in a car, the dealer uses their wholesale guide to price the trade. My trade-in quotes have consistently been 10-20% lower than the most conservative KBB estimate.  Be prepared to be disappointed.  Do not rely on your trade to help you afford the car you want unless the trade is paid off.

The most important rule of car negotiation is not to tell the salesperson what you want your car payment to be.  If you tell them $500, they will make it $499, even if it could have been $450.

The dealer's responsibility is to give you the best price on the new car and a fair price on the trade in.  The payment amount will work itself out based on the interest rate that you qualify for and the term.

While you are going back and forth with the salesperson on price, pay attention to all of the numbers being presented.  I cannot tell you how many times I have asked the dealer to discount the price of the car, and they just increase another number to make up for the discount.

Car dealers do not have the best reputation regarding transparency and honesty, so it is important to pay attention.

To summarize...

  • The timing of your purchase makes a big difference.
  • Do your research.
  • Choose your dealer wisely.
  • Be ready to negotiate.

Did you try these tips? How did your experience turn out? Let us know in the comments below.


Why it's Hard to Mind Your Business

Have you overheard a conversation you wish you didn't? The really personal kind, so personal and dramatic that you want to walk away but your thirst keeps your tuned in. If you haven't, here's your chance.

O.K. listen, last week while sitting at my desk, I craved for something delicious that didn't taste more like the wrapper than it did a snack. I decided to hike down the little convenience store they maintain in my office building to keep us from leaving the building and deciding not to come back. Maybe it's for our convenience, but I have my own suspicions. I was sleepy at my desk, and I already inadvertently smashed the semicolon until there were three rows of them. On the way out to the elevator it happened, I got my golden opportunity to be nosey without scrolling through Facebook. It was all I could do not to stare. I waited for the elevator with my back turned to her, thinking 'What he do', but I couldn't bring myself to ask.

When I got home all your stuff was gone!

"Didn’t you say that you were always going to be here for me (yelling with a trembling voice)? I try to talk to you all the time but you don't listen, how is this my fault (followed by explicit name calling)? I can't believe this shit! When I got home you already moved your stuff, you are such a coward Thomas. Real men don't do that kind of shit"!

Crap the elevator came and I had no choice but to get on. Continuing to stand there is far too obvious despite my propensity to want to hear other folks business. When I came back upstairs, she was gone. I decided to find her and give her some unsolicited advice, even though I don’t know the entire story. You know, I really do like to be helpful. I walked up and down the aisles until I located her cubicle. When I found her desk, I decided to mind my business. The look on her face said that she had been through enough and I didn't want to risk the HR complaint so early in the year.

Instead, let's have little chat about some of the things I wish I could share with her. Being let down by things that our loved ones do is inevitable. Eventually, you have to figure out how to assess the damage and create a plan that will allow you to heal and move on.

Do you hear yourself

Heartbreak does not have to equal devastation. What I mean is you can hurt without allowing your life to fall apart. If you feel like you cannot carry on after a break-up, or a failed relationship, you have given away too much of your independence/ autonomy.

https://twitter.com/RexDMundo/status/955606286116286464

This happens when you stop listening to your inner-voice and decide that compromise equals acquiescence. Take back your strength. Listen to your inner-voice. You should hear yourself more loudly and more clearly than anyone else. Remind yourself of all the times you failed, and all the times you have successfully recovered from that failure.

Be honest with yourself

Honesty allows relationships to flourish and helps mutual confidence. People often pretend to feel confident rather than actually being confident. The "show" only distracts you from the truth, and ultimately destroys manufactured relationships. After all, you can only fool folks for so long. The mask eventually comes off.

In the beginning, we share the best bits of our personalities, and it's those things that attract others. The everyday conversations about preferences and perspectives reveal the details that allow our prospective partners to see us how we see ourselves. We may say things like, I'm not good at reading, or I can’t cook very well. Innocent admissions express our insecurities but they also reveal our character. If you are honest in the beginning, you know your partner chose you for your authentic self.

Always be your biggest fan

Being yourself can feel like a risk because we spend far too much time constructing cocoons of fiction that don't allow much room for authenticity. Honestly, we don't believe it, so don't be foolish enough to think that others are any less savvy. The only way to heal the fear of being your true self is internal, so start soon.

No one thinks what you want them to think about you. It’s really none of your business what they think. Be more concerned with being more of the person you envision for yourself. At some point, you have to get your shit together. The negativity we all experience from time to time is normal. If we didn’t have a bad day occasionally, the people around us would probably punch us in the face. No one is that happy.

One positive step at a time

Make a conscious effort to stop limiting your awesome. Say "I can't less or remove "I’m no good at" conversations. Rehearse these things and not fiction, and you will see your truth personified. Keep on trying to figure it all out, it's where we all are.


It is my sincere hope that something you read here will uplift and encourage you.

Regg


Top 10 Strategies You Need to Ditch Dead-end Relationships Today

Still feel like the first time?

At some point everyone desires change. How much change varies, but the need for change does not. Maybe it's something as simple as a new outfit or something as serious as divorce.  The beginning of the year is when most people want to implement change in their lives, and relationships are no exception. Does this sound like you?

Sometimes people feel lost in their relationships. Close friendships and romantic relationships are the most difficult relationships to navigate.  Maybe you are growing closer, or further apart. Good or bad, it is worth examining. When you encounter continual challenges in your relationship it can feel like you are doing something wrong. These feelings could signify a couple of things.

Perhaps you are dealing with change, new experiences, new emotions, new expectations, or even a new reality.  You may even feel like you are creating these situations.  You may be, but that does not mean that you shouldn’t be.  Be strong, each challenge will teach you something new. As you experience change, it makes sense for you to be increasingly dissatisfied with your reality.  Once you recognize your source of dissatisfaction, start implementing micro-changes or small adjustments to ease feelings of stress, and allow feelings of peace in your relationships.

I didn't sign up for this

Remember this familiar phrase? "He just isn't the man I married anymore" or "They used to be cool but now they are just so negative".  Both statements are true, but not in the way you think. Look at it this way.

  • If either of you is exactly the same after many years, the problem is bigger than the relationship, get help.
  • If you still want exactly what you wanted when you started being friends or when you started to date (in the case of romantic relationships), the problem is bigger than the relationship, get help.

Notice both scenarios end in the same place? They end the same because both ideas center on irrational expectations.

This next bit is crucial specifically for romantic partners.  If your relationship is rock-solid and both of you are on board with your relationship remodel, awesome, you guys plan to grow together. If not, you should speak with a certified counselor before you prematurely burn it down. Altering your life drastically is very difficult. Make sure that you are completely clear about what you want.

Still hanging on

Try these 10 Tips

It is common for people to not like change.  It's strange how familiarity is comforting, despite the familiarity being unsatisfying or even dangerous. A bad situation will sometimes feel better than doing the work to change it. You will want to quit but don’t. When life gets hard or complex, those are the times you must follow through with evacuating the B.S. from your life.

It is normal to dread the future. You remixed everything you do normally. You feel like you don’t know what to do next, and that is scary, but that does not mean that it is OK to stand still. So far, you’ve questioned your life and circumstances. The people in our lives are either our support system or our hurdle. Your job is to find out who is which, and permanently bench the bad and keep the good.

This is quite a bit easier to accomplish with friends than with romantic relationships. There is a different type of desire driving your decision-making.  Although the dynamic is different, the principles are the same. Most people expect a similar level of commitment from their partners as they do from their close friends, specifically when it comes to emotional support.  If you are the only one growing, they will not understand your journey, and that is OK.

You don’t need a dramatic exit, just lose touch with them or let them know you have gone as far as you can together. Keep it simple. Basic folks only understand basic shit.

Being alone is OK and necessary

Changing your situation is hard, and a lot of work.  It will take a toll on you emotionally and physically.  During this time, it is important to have some sort of exercise routine, a healthier diet, or some form of practical and positive alternative.  Take time to enjoy your own company. Odds are, you are not going to be fun to be around right now.  If you schedule some time to be alone on purpose, you will minimize the impact on those relationships you intend to salvage.

You cannot change your life in a significant way without experiencing loss.  Your changes may be minimal, or great like quitting smoking or, trading in a car you can’t afford.  You will feel the loss, and that’s OK.  The important part of this change is to get what you came for.  Don’t mourn the loss of things that were not good for you.  Letting go is hard, not impossible.

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How do you teach your kids history

I started the day filled with thanks.  Another MLK day has come and I meditate on the details of a struggle that I never participated in, but of which I am the proud benefactor. As I allow my thoughts to drift through the details, the history I can claim thanks for, the ungrateful brats, a.k.a my children, cross my mind. I am fully aware my children will inherit a world that is not invested in their equality or their individual success. I have raised them in an environment devoid of the harsh realities that await on the other side of my front door.  Have I failed to teach them the crucial life lessons?

Scrolling through the various posts commemorating the holiday, I come across a friend who was apparently thinking something similar to myself.

What's this I've found?

My friend Quanny made a post on facebook today.

Shout out to my friend for being an amazing mother.

 

Her post precipitated an unexpected chain of thoughts. Her message is thoughtful and clear but subtly communicates far more than she shared textually. The undercurrent of sad responsibility washes through the subtext of her post resonated and resonates with me. I respond with " I started that lesson with my girls early..." but the reality the lesson is an ongoing conversation with an ending I cannot foresee.

Her simple statement calls attention to the inescapable duality in the conversations between African-American parents and their children. Consider what it feels like to attempt an explanation about one of America's great black historical figures, while simultaneously trying to preserve the child's innocence and sense of pride for a nation they will live in for the foreseeable future.  When we talk to our kids about "the way things used to be" we are sharing things we've learned and things we've experienced.

That moment

At best, the advice and explanations we share with our children are tedious. We acrobatically walk the fine line between teaching them and coloring their perceptions with our personal baggage. I have heard several parents from other heritages share their egregious opinions on the way African-Americans relate to American history, and the way those parents teach the gritty details of the "black experience" to their children.

They assume that makes us somehow less patriotic than families from other designations.  Additionally, that we as people are unnecessarily passing down a legacy of hate and misery to our children who will never experience that reality first hand. Their assertions are remarkably false. We are passing down experience. Justifiably, we are removing the hi-gloss shine lacquered over a story created by historians who were more adept at fiction than they were at expository narratives.

I have no intention of perpetuating feelings of hate or misery in my children. It is my responsibility as a parent to make sure my children have an accurate understanding of their legacy as black women, with as much detail as I am able to provide. This means it's my job to unwind the rosy histories they learn in school and to supplement details of the things omitted altogether.

Should we avoid discussing it at all?

The question is how do you educate your family without undermining the relationships they have established with their teachers and classmates. Communicating the complexities of American history to children is ridiculously difficult, but it still has to be done. We have to offer them grace and an opportunity to learn at a pace that is commensurate with their age. Take the time to explain that "our" pioneering warriors for justice paved the way for the semblance of equality we have today. Remind them that things taken for granted contemporarily were unavailable historically.

Recall Ralph Ellison’s classic novel, Invisible Man.

Ralph Ellison, New York author, is a witness, August 30, 1966, at a Senate Subcommittee hearing in Washington during continuing hearings on the racial problems in big cities. (AP Photo)

The narrator finds himself working at a plant in Long Island. Ellison’s allegory reveals the lie at the heart of America’s idea of itself: that no matter how we try to paint the history of this country, black people give it color and depth. That fact has been and is often hidden from view, because America, no matter what it says about itself or what demography portends, still holds on to the idea that this country is a white nation.

Tell it softly but tell it true

It would be a grievous mistake to hide truths or remove obstacles that can only strengthen the resolve of our children. As parents, we must let them experience the discomfort of growth if we ever expect them to develop the coping skills necessary to navigate their pending adulthood successfully.

When you find yourself feeling ambivalent about how to proceed, or you are watching them wince at concepts foreign to their understanding, take comfort in the redemptive nature of their youthful resiliency.  Do your best to answer their questions with candor and sensitivity, and remind yourself that what you share with them today, will travel with them from now on. It may not seem like it, but they often hold on to the things we say when we think they are listening least.


I share these words with the hope that those who found discomfiture in the truth will one day dance in its revelation.

Regg

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Does your confidence speak when you choose not to?

I talked with a friend the other day. We talked about some articles that talked about confidence and he wanted to know my opinion. I thought, aww hell here we go again. We discussed two articles. Our talk centered on one question that each article discussed.

"How do Confident people handle their Insecurities"?

Maybe you would like to check them out for yourself.  Just for you, I put a couple of links below.

  1. Things Confident People Don't Do
  2. 10 Things Truly Confident People Do Differently

It's a flawed question and founded on the idea that confident people are different from other people, but we will get to that in a moment.

After our chat about the articles, I decided to give them a good 'ol look.  The more I inspected them, the more annoyed I became. I know, I know, you probably think this is an overreaction to common dribble everyone encounters on the internet.  You are right, but that doesn't mean I'm not in my feelings just a little. I'm thinking about all people told, " hey, wanna know why you have a suck job, or this is why no one listens to what you say, it's because you don't show enough confidence".

You meant well, but

I understand that these recommendations come from a place of help, but they make me wonder who is helping whom.  Is there a great outcry from a timid public, all waiting to have their lives made over by the confidence gods?  I'm not sure, but I am almost positive that isn't the case. It is my firm belief that confidence techniques are a scam. That's right, the kind of scam you can witness with a $5 ticket to a magic act at a traveling circus. The only difference between these techniques and a magic show is the magic show ends.

The first thing I noticed after reading the info in both articles is they were almost the same article, written at different times by different people with the same tips only re-worded. That in itself does not discredit the information, but it was enough to raise my suspicions as I dug deeper. I noticed the type of advice shared. It was the kind of backhanded help that sneakily implies that you are not good enough while also saying despite your unworthiness I'm still going to help you be better than you are now.

The next problem is in the set of assumptions connected to the nameless group of confident people who act out the prescribed behaviors. The article authors assume the performance of confidence is consistent, or people who interact with the "confident folks" subscribe to the manufactured personas. Most, if not all, the improvements guaranteed to make you seem more confident had to do with manipulating others or deceiving yourself. Have a look at the list below.

They suggest you follow these suggestions

Confident people should/shouldn't

  1. Speak with certainty. 
  2. Seek out small victories.
  3. They exercise.
  4. Don’t seek attention. 

  5. They don’t pass judgment. 
  6. Get their happiness from within.
  7. Listen more than they speak.
  8. They take risks.
  9. Aren’t afraid to be wrong. 

  10. Celebrate other people’s successes.

Five of the ten items listed either have nothing to do with confidence or are inconsistent behaviors that nearly everyone performs irregularly.

Simply appearing confident is very different from actually feeling confident. My point here is nothing about the suggested behavior modifications connect exclusively to a select group of highly motivated people who have figured out the secret sauce to success. If you plan to modify your behavior or reinvigorate the way you conceptualize yourself you will need something considerably more robust than a list of tips or mantras.

Being fair

All the items on the list are just good habits in general. Will they make you more confident, maybe, but what's more important is understanding that confidence is a feeling and like all feelings, it's fleeting.  Everyone is insecure at some point. We all worry about what others think of us, the severity however, is the determinant of whether we alter our behavior accordingly.

I have heard people describe confidence as the "it factor" or you are born with it or you aren't.  None of that is true. Confidence has nothing to do with an abstract quality that you only get by winning the genetic lottery. It is also not obtained by adopting qualities that are not innate to who you are as an individual.  There are standard modes of communication that inspire feelings of comfort or confidence in the information that you share, but that comes from quality explanations and clarity.

How you feel about yourself centers on past experiences combined with your perception of the reactions from those you interact with. If you want to feel more confident more frequently, focus on improving how you feel about what you offer as an individual.  The source of self-confidence comes from three places, all of which determined solely by internal conversation.

  1. How you feel about yourself
  2. What you think others think of you
  3. How good you think you are at a given task

There is something you should notice about the list you just read. Everything there has to do with what you think. I can't express that enough.

What does that tell you

For me, it means that I determine my confidence levels and maintain it's fluidity in any situation. I don't know one person that feels 100 percent confident at all time, however, a person who feels confident at most times handles moments of insecurity differently. They don't allow one setback to deter them from their goals nor are they perpetually defeated by stressful situations.

Remember to love you first and everything else gets easier.


Don't forget to share. Let your voice be heard here, I would love to know what you think.

Regg


New Year New You

I want to be new too

“New year resolutions”, “No resolutions”, “I’m on a mission”, “It’s my year”, and even “God got me!!!”. The stars are aligned to make a resolution.

I’m not saying your resolution will crumble, fall apart, or wither on the to-do list you created it on. I am saying that It’s on you. Yes, You; the man or woman in the mirror staring back at you.  It's whether or not you are willing to go all in for yourself and your family. This is a new year for the new you.

Make this the year you make a decision to "Change or be Chained"! Chained to the things that keep you from forging ahead towards the best you. That’s all that matters. This could be the best year of your life.  Doesn’t that excite you?

Today is...

A few questions come to mind as we progress through the beginning of 2018.

  1. Will you avoid the folks with negative attitudes and join in on the fun?
    No matter what it looks like, you can and will achieve that which you believe!!! Remember “Rudy”? He finally got his day on the field for Notre Dame.  Even though he was ridiculed by even those closest to him. Stay Positive in 2018.
  2. Have you set goals for the new year or are you still “trying to figure things out?
    I learned a long time ago if you want to be successful, do what successful people do. Plan ahead. Jim Rohn said his mentor told him once he started "setting goals", his life changed. Once you set goals, pursue them with focus and determination.  What is written down gets done. Maintain the "I will succeed attitude", no matter the obstacles. This means not being afraid to fail.
  3. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
    I’m sure the list is long.  So go ahead and do it.  The best way to face your fears is head on. Winning is tough, but losing is tougher.  You’ll thank yourself for it one day.

While traveling the path to success, pay attention to new opportunities. You may come across a situation where you can be of assistance to someone.  These may be times when you can learn something new that will eventually benefit you.

It can come from nowhere

Before I began my entrepreneurial journey, I was working for my mentor, helping him with odd jobs around his office.   One day he asked me to help him run his business. At the time I was working overnight at a copy center, making $400.00 a month. No that is not missing a zero.  However, I did not agree to work with him immediately. I told him I wanted my own office one day and I had to think about it.  Lol. I had big plans for those $400.00

What he said next caught my attention, “You’re not doing that now and besides, what do you think you will learn from me?”

If I'd had said no?

I would have missed an incredible opportunity. Now, 22 years later, I'm still in business. I share this story with you to encourage you to not only recognize opportunity but to grab it with both hands.  Those rare moments are often pivotal moments in our lives.  My parting advice, be confident.  Feeling confident has an amazing impact on your life, it's the difference between "I could" and "I did". Learn to believe in yourself, because your life depends on it. You got this!

Whatever “this” is for you. When you set the expectation that you will achieve success, and eventually you will. The world will reward you with what you put into it. Just be ready when it does.


 

 

 

 

I hope this message inspires you.

Follow me on Facebook or check out my newsletter to get the new you on the road.

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Soft Skills Are The New Bottom-Line

Hard skills vs soft skills

The argument about which skills are more important or necessary is as old as the argument about whether great leaders are born or developed.

Both sides have compiled convincing arguments, but throughout the thirty plus years, I’ve been working with personal and professional leaders something is glaringly obvious: Those who want to reach the top are willing and committed to doing whatever it takes to get to there.  In today's business and leadership environment that means developing self-awareness, emotional intelligence, communication and conflict resolution—so-called “soft skills.”

Hard skills can get you there—soft skills keeps you there

We have all grown up with a hard skills emphasis on a post-secondary education, and although there is no doubt that this is very useful, there are other vital factors to be considered.

Just for a moment be really honest and consider this: Imagine that you have an executive opening in your organization and you have two applicants for a position. One applicant has been in the post-secondary educational systems for six years and has run labs with other students in the program. This person also graduated with honors. The other applicant has hands-on industry experience, gone through its evolution and successfully led teams from various backgrounds/ specialties throughout that same six years.

With the limited information, you know which candidate is a better fit for the position? If you are like most effective leaders you would likely say the second candidate for many reasons, not least of all the savings in training and development. Let's put even that to the side for a moment and ask; which of the two is likely to have had to learn the people skills needed for them to lead an executive position?

Commitment

What those committed individuals going to the next level understand is;

Hard skills may get you to the top, but it’s soft skills that will keep you there and make sure that you are not alone when you arrive!

[bctt tweet="Hard skills may get you to the top, but it’s soft skills that will keep you there and make sure that you are not alone when you arrive!" username="Rexdmundo"]

Those who embrace this idea are the leaders who become the heroes who can and will, overcome any obstacle, with time.

The world of business and leadership has changed dramatically in the last fifteen years. The ruthless dictatorial style of leadership that dominated the past is on life support and about to take its final breath. The new generation of leaders understands that business and success are people driven. Not only do they use the latest technologies and strategies to disrupt their industries, they also recognize something old-school leaders never truly grasped: Soft skills make the most impact on your bottom-line.

Lacking soft skills is expensive

The American workforce has found that just 30 percent of the American workforce is “engaged and inspired” at work, with the other 70 percent either disengaged or miserable. According to a 2013 global Gallup research project: ‘Managers from hell’ cost the US between $450 billion to $550 billion annually. “Gallup research also shows that these "managers from hell" are creating active disengagement Gallup Chairman and CEO Jim Clifton chalked the disengagement levels up to these poor managers.

“When leaders in the United States of America — or any country for that matter — wake up one morning and say collectively, “Let’s get rid of managers from hell, (the research shows that the managers (and leaders) from hell and the ones who lack the soft/people skills and who are entirely focused on hard skills and results) ... double the number of great managers and engaged employees, and have those managers lead based on what actually matters,” everything will change,” he added.

“The country’s employees will be twice as effective, they’ll create far more customers, companies will grow, spiraling healthcare costs will decrease, and desperately needed GDP will boom like never before.”

The biggest obstacle

The outstanding leaders of today and tomorrow are the ones who are the most committed to self-awareness and self-development. The reasons are simple: they are better with people and they understand that if there is a business obstacle to overcome, it is overcome in the mind of the leader first.

Let’s take the example of Iranian business people. In your travels, in your neighborhood, you have no doubt met many Persian people, (Iranians). By and large, I have found them to be kind, caring and hardworking people with a deeply entrepreneurial spirit that has made them successful business people wherever they have landed.
Different But the Same

Recently I had the honor of speaking with a highly successful business leader from Iran who has invited me to speak to 700 business leaders in the capital city Tehran at The 9th Annual World Management Forum. Our initial conversation was deeply revealing because it showed me that business leaders face the same challenges wherever they are in the world.

Tehran

Tehran is a sophisticated modern city with 16 million person population in its greater metro area. It has one of the highest populations of the millennial generation, and despite what you may have believed, a highly educated workforce. Women now comprise the majority of students at the university. But Iran is also a highly sanctioned country with a government that may care more about an ideology than it does about assisting you with business.

Think about the challenges you face in doing business today, and now imagine what it would be like to face those challenges in Tehran. In my conversation with the Iran business leader, it soon became clear that business leaders all over the world understand that it is the soft skills of mindset, purpose, emotional intelligence and vision are what it takes to succeed in an ultra-competitive business world—no matter where in the world you are.

Tomorrow’s champions

One of the reasons I love serving in the world of business is because today’s champions of personal growth are the business leaders who will dominate over the next decade! And that means utilizing soft skills to maintain the most profitable.

By the way, did you know that discipline doesn't work well when it comes to leadership? Find out what does:

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjRMyti2bXw[/embedyt]

I trust that you found this article valuable. If so feel free to send this to your friends. I eagerly anticipate your feedback and comments. Please share, like and comment below!

With gratitude,

Dov


Dov Baron, Expert on Leadership, presents his Authentic Leadership Matrix!

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Do we give our kids enough room to fail?

Did the Arkangel episode of Black Mirror just rip overprotective parents?

Black Mirror hones in on our culture's obsession with technology and reveals that we are also deathly afraid of the rapid pace of technological advancement used to parent. Children everywhere are left to their own devices with, well devices. The writers of this series find that nerve and twist it.

The latest season of Black Mirror on Netflix, more specifically the Arkangel episode, exploits parents' worst fear, the failure to protect. The primary premise explores juvenile autonomy.  It wants viewers to struggle with deciding how much is enough or too much. Arkangel also performs a surface level exploration of forced abortion, pre-marital sex, and privacy.  Yikes, when you say all that out loud it sounds horrible, but I promise its fun. Let's not forget about"The Twilight Zone's" popularity.

Spoiler alert

If you haven't seen this episode stop reading. If you have, proceed.

Here are the down and dirty details. One morning  Claire (Rosemarie Dewitt) took her kid Sara (Aniya Hodge 3 y.o.) to the park, while they are there she starts running her mouth with another mom and Sara wanders off. She freaks out. Although they find Sara, Claire cannot cope with the thought of losing her kid again and voluntarily gets the kid chipped like a pet poodle. It is not ordinary microchip though, she can filter her sensory input and see everything Sara sees.

Cut to years later, Mom can't find Sarah (Brenna Harding 15 y.o.) and what does she do? You guessed it, she freaks out all over again and grabs the tablet that allows her to monitor Sara, despite having agreed to never invade her teenage daughter's privacy. As soon as she powers on the monitor, boom, Sara is getting it on in a van with her boyfriend.

Claire bullies Trick (Owen Teague), the boyfriend, and forces him not to communicate with Sara anymore. Claire also grinds up a morning-after pill and hides it in her daughter's protein smoothie.  All of the helicopter mom shenanigans land Clair on the bedroom floor with Sara smashing her face in with the microchip monitoring tablet.

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yef_HfQoBd8[/embedyt]

What did we learn

Black Mirror, despite its salaciousness and fear baiting, attempts to do quite a bit. Arkangel directed by Jody Foster does a great job with entertaining and informing the audience with a unique take on this subject. Some critics of the show say "the focus was too narrow", or "this episode missed some prime opportunities to explore topics that are relevant to today's viewers". The sentiments are partially true, there is a monocular quality to this episode, but it has to be that way to further the point of the message.  In this instance, the episode asks the audience to consider the implications of parenting through technology and if our unwillingness to let our kids experience life unfiltered is healthy.

Is the key to good parenting really control? To some degree, all parents need to control their children's environment, especially when interpreting what they consume from entertainment and social media. Technology will always be a bit of a conundrum. On one hand, we have to be familiar with the world that our children live in, and even to keep pace with the skills that we need in the workplace. Alternatively, all things need limits. How much technology does it take to replace real parenting and trust?  The answer will vary, but as things exist today, it's apparent the idea needs thorough consideration.


Thank you all for stopping by, as always, leave your comments below.

Regg


It's Always Easier to Be Honest

Honesty

Today, lying is as plentiful as oxygen. But trying to find honesty, however, often requires a team of archaeologists.  Wondering whats behind the trending dishonesty? Thought about why some people are incapable of honesty, and some are more truthful overall Everyone says "I just want people in my life who will be honest", but is that what we really want?

The common scientific understanding explains there is an instinctual need for humans to lie.  I have even heard qualified scientists say " lying is an innate part of the human existence", that we need lies to manage the harsh realities of life. The assumption is that lying mitigates damage to relationships and allows individuals to interact with one another and inflict the least amount of emotional harm.

Most people feel like they tell  "harmless lies" or their reasons for not being honest allows them to spare the feelings of others. Perhaps they lie to avoid confrontation. Whatever the reason, the pervasiveness of lying is at an all-time high. Check out this video from Time Magazine, where they explain some of what they think are substantive reasons for lying.

If you believe what you just saw in the video,  you may now feel more comfortable about lying or be soothed by the explanations shared. Maybe you saw habits you recognized, at the very least, you understand why lying happens so frequently. I believe to some degree, there are lies we tell or truths we omit for the benefit of others. All things being equal, let's want to think about the people who tell lies for self-serving reasons and how best to interact with them.

The trouble with trying to identify which type of person you are dealing with, one who means well or one who is just a trickster, is that no one does either exclusively. So what do you do?  You do your best to be as honest as possible.  There is something innate to the truth that elicits specific reactions and behaviors. If you are leading by example, it is more likely that they will follow suit. There will always be outliers, but that's no reason not to give it a shot.

IRL

I have a friend who is not necessarily dishonest, but he does have an issue with complete disclosure.  You know, those people who tell you most of a story, but leave out a little for their own comfort. This guy so suspicious of everyone he censors everything that he says.  I suspect this behavior comes from a lifetime of concealment, or perhaps it's a coping mechanism for dealing with conflict. Who knows?  What I do know, is there is nothing worse than an unsolicited lie.

During our friendship, I made several attempts to persuade him to knock it off.  Have you ever hung out with someone you couldn’t ask simple questions?

For example, “What have you been up to”?

That’s simple enough. Not aggressive or intrusive.

Instead of a simple answer, he would say things like, “Why? You heard something?”

Try a little understanding

Information manipulators are tiresome because they require excessive maintenance. Often they don’t realize their secrecy/dishonesty is really a pain in the ass. They are consistently guarded and wary of potential conflict. Communication with them is a nightmare. If only they recognized that honesty is so much easier.

If you recognize any of these habits in someone you know, or potentially your own behavior, see the information below for some ways to categorize, understand, and navigate the behavior you meet.

 

After your figure them out

Once you have identified and understood what/who you are dealing with, begin with a simple rehab. Offering them the chance to redeem themselves by letting them know you are open to whatever their truth is.  This offer however takes time and is the most permanent solution. After all,  this is a lesson they should have learned long ago.

If you interact with people who you feel uncomfortable being honest with, you may need to curtail your dealings with them.  If you are the one with the issue, think about what could really happen if you were completely honest. When the result of a change is the end of your relationship, perhaps the relationship neither participant was honest about what they wanted from the beginning.

Salvage as much as you can of your self-esteem and set the truth free. If your situations involve family, it could be a bit trickier.  A family has years of history and patterns of interaction, and the habits will be much harder to break and you will face unexpected feedback.  This is the wage for the injurious behavior you have fostered over the years.  Have patience while they adjust to the part of you they have never met and vice versa.

Honesty requires courage and if this behavior is not a natural part of who you are, work on it. Anything less will can only result in the slow erosion of your core values or result in self-sabotaging behavior. Summon the necessary courage to be vulnerable and accountable.

Tact will help you avoid stepping on other's feelings with your honesty. Being truly honest requires finesse in every situation, and for people of integrity, it is the only acceptable choice.

[bctt tweet="Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.  ~Spencer Johnson" username="wwregg"]

This is a tough lesson.  Feel ok about working through it a little at a time but it is doable.  All you need is willingness and commitment.  Let’s take the next step together.


I am always interested in what you have to say, so I look forward to reading your responses. Don't forget you can tweet me here.

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5 answers you need before you leave your job

Another year has come and gone, and like millions of others, I too have returned to the daily grind. I remember how I promised to continue to make baby steps toward financial freedom and my career goals. At 9:05 a.m., moments before the marathon conference calls begin, once more, I find myself wondering why I still work here. How long is too long to stay in the same job, and how do you know when it’s time to go?

What do you need from your job

I 'm sure I can guess what you need most from your job. Money! I know, me too. That is the first thing that comes to mind when we consider that question, but there are some other important needs that are equally important. Have you thought about why you aren’t happy with your career as it is today? Sometimes we feel like we just need a change. The desire for change is a common feeling, but have you thought about why the urge is present more often lately? The desire for change is rooted in feelings of discontent. In truth, we need to feel fulfillment in the workplace.

Contentment is a primary driver for the desire to change careers. The uncanny thing about this subtle motivator is how often we fail to fulfill this requirement. There are all sorts of reasons that people decide its time to go, as illustrated by the chart below. When we think about our mental tic boxes, those things we think our “awesome” job must have, we organize them into a hierarchy with remuneration at the top.

The average person will overlook most of their requirements if the offered salary is sufficient. While salary is important, it should not be the only controlling factor you consider in the decision. The danger in being completely salary focused is the inability to sustain job satisfaction.

What does satisfaction feel at work?

In your current job, do you feel undervalued, or like the tasks you perform do not meet your basic need for a challenge? This could be an indicator that you are due for a promotion, or that you have outgrown the demands of your current position. Can your season of discontent be repaired by moving to another department? Perhaps you only require additional training and/or credentials to transition into a job that suits you?

If you are seriously attempting to decide if it is time for you to leave your current job, these are the sort of questions that need answers to before deciding to move forward with a career adjustment. All jobs get boring occasionally, but the type of dissatisfaction that we are talking about here is the kind that is unending. Some folks dread waking up in the morning because they know that the new day will only bring more of the same.

Assuming you have decided that it's time to move on, let's consider the type of planning you will need to turn your choice into actionable items. This kind of move requires research and thought. If your ultimate career choice is vastly different from what you do currently, take the time to talk with individuals who have already done what you want to do.

Get good details

The first step in your plan is to collect information from your career pioneers. Ask them things like:

  1. How long did it take you to get the skills and experience needed for your current job?
  2. How long was it before you were comfortable with your current income?
  3. What kind of roadblocks did you experience during your journey?
  4. If you could change one thing about what you do now, what would that be?
  5. What was the most unexpected bi-product of your career?

I have accumulated a couple of careers during my journey. Each time I transitioned from one career to the next, I was required to have new skills and experience. Normally, big decisions scare people and keep them trapped in a job/career longer than they ever anticipated. We all want to be happy, but emotional and financial happiness often go hand in hand.

Second, you will need a road map for your finances. Any decision that will alter the state of your financial life demands that you consider two major things:

  • the cost of the change
  • transition time

Still deciding?

Your third step will require some imagination. Think about possible outcomes and contingencies. Try the practice scenario below.

You have been at your current job for the past 5 years and you feel like you have gone as far as you can go with the company. A new function at the same company will only produce a lateral pay increase. The new role does not allow you the autonomy and flexibility that you would need to feel satisfied with your change. You have just been offered a job with “Company X” and you want to know…Is it time to go?

  • If you can negotiate terms that will not put yourself nor your family in financial jeopardy, and the “fulfillment factor’ you require is present its time to go!
  • If you show up to work daily, and you can no longer imagine what it would be like to work anywhere else, you have been there too long and it’s time to go!
  • If you are a spectator, meaning you feel like a powerless observer in your current job, its time to go.

Success starts with a plan

Make a list of the things that you enjoy and are good at. Decide how many “fulfillment factor” points are available. If you need more training or education, plan for it. Sign up for one class and then another. The feeling of progression boosts your motivation. Do things that bring you closer to your dream even when it feels hard or complicated.

The time to get off the comfort train is now, but don’t abruptly abandon your job for your dreams. Transitioning into poverty will hardly increase your feelings of fulfillment. If changing careers means that you are going to have to take a pay cut, may need to create backup funds cushion while you rebuild your career currency in a new field.

Be smart! Figure out your best plan for transitioning from what you do now to what you want to do and make a timeline for completion.


Enjoy the info shared here? Great! Make sure you leave your comments and questions below. It would be great to hear from you. If you have suggestions you would like to share or just a general question send me an email here.

Regg.