Artist Spotlight: Mali Music

 

Mali Music

Kortney Jamaal Pollard performing under the stage name Mali Music,[2] is an American recording artist, singer-songwriter, and producer. We recognize him with our artist spotlight, for his commitment to making quality tunes with quality content.  He is hardly a new artist, he began his music career at the ripe old age of 12, gathered his footing in church, and continues to actively perform in various venues today.  In addition to his new release,  has released three albums.

"The Coming (2008) and The 2econd Coming (2009), earned him much critical and underground acclaim.[3] In 2011, he was the first inspirational artist to be a part of BET's acclaimed "Music Matters" series.[4] Signed to RCA Records in 2013,[5] Mali released the single "Beautiful"[6] in anticipation of his first major album release Mali Is..., which was released on June 17, 2014[7]and earned a Grammy nomination for Best Urban Contemporary Album.[8]"

Mali Music

On Tuesday, May 9, 2017, he announced the release of his latest album, The Transition of Mali, which debuted about two weeks ago.

What you really want to know

To be honest, the cleanliness of this artist is refreshing.  We get an album that we can enjoy and get our bounce on" all while the kids are in the car.  We have no reason to skip songs, there isn't any "provocative content" and it's still totally enjoyable.  Don't get me wrong, there is time when we all want to get out "ratchet on" but for the other times there is still some good stuff out there.

Mali's sound is reminiscent of John Legend with a little extra gospel flavor.  Some tracks are stale and soggy, but I talk while they play and tune in when the next hot track picks up.  Some songs have the typical call and response theme, but we also get others that display true musicianship with an opportunity to get your grown man/woman on without feeling like a complete "old head".

Look out for the track with Jazmine Sullivan, and the one called "Worth It".    Have a listen to the sampling of selected tracks below.  "Happy Listening"

If you have suggestions for an artist you would like to see or know more about ship me an email with your request!

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/embed?listType=playlist&list=PLqJ_b8IWlEQMVblG69_CbV2luGyCU1A6B&v=f4tv1jLOh00&layout=gallery[/embedyt]


Ask Anything: How do really fat people manage to travel in economy airlines?

Our latest ask anything question comes from Sam.  Sam has a very curious mind and wants to know:

"No offense, but I have always been curious about this one thing. Not everyone can afford to travel First or Business Class, and the Economy seats aren't exactly the roomy kinds. So is it always the troubled neighbor or do some airlines make some special arrangements for them? Have you had any such experiences traveling with obese folks? I have really fat relatives, but never had the nerve to ask them. I really just want to know, I don't want to be offensive."

Sam, Sam, Sam where should I begin.  I give your ten points for asking this question in the most polite way possible.  I have heard  this question a couple of times before, and until now, I was reluctant to answer it publicly.  Fat people fly economy in utter and complete agony.  I will make this really simple for you Sam.  There are three good reasons that "fat people" hate to fly, and find it to be one of many humiliating experiences.

Why flying while "fat" is miserable

90 Percent of all people who have never had significant issues with their weight have no issue with dehumanizing those that have.

Ignorant people, like the one pictures above, exist everywhere.  Many overweight people have spent a lifetime battling their weight issues.  They think about the way that people look at them when they walk into a room.  Ordinary activities are filled with anxiety, and  thoughts of "how is this going to work for me?" fill their minds.  Imagine arriving at the gate, of course you are completely aware that you are fat, only to find  a minimum of 75 other people looking at you behind blank stares and empty eyes, secretly praying to god that you are sitting nowhere near them.  The silent voice of those unspoken indictments are felt just as sharply as they would if they had been articulated.

Airlines are primarily concerned with packing sardines and not passenger comfort
Passenger space
Leg room in inches

The average size of a an economy airline seat is roughly 17.5 inches between the armrests.  The seats have been this size for the last 30+ years.  The size of the seat is not based on the amount of space passengers need to be comfortable, but the least amount of space required to stay within safety standards.   Meanwhile, they maximize the amount of people they can pack into the cabin. Look at these seats, they are small AF!  Making them tall means absolutely  nothing. Especially, if you are in a nearly standing position the entire flight

Small ass seat
Small Ass Economy Seats

From a business perspective, it makes total sense, however, as a passenger of any size, its ridiculous and uncomfortable.  I have not said anything ground breaking here, but I think that some people should take up their fight with the airline and not ridiculing and shaming their fellow passengers.

You are not that great either

Quiet as its kept, fat people are not that thrilled about sitting next to the non-fats either, or anyone for that matter.  Its uncomfortable.  Who would willingly subject themselves to public ridicule and speculation.  Who wants to pay the extra cost to take a flight for work, and pay to upgrade a ticket for a minimally more comfortable seat to a place they never wanted to go.  I know many will say lose weight.  To that I will say grow the hell up.

Finally

Sam, I can appreciate the fact that you are curious, I can even understand why you never asked your fat family.  I think I have more than answered your question, so I would like to leave you with these parting words.  Worry about yourself.  The next time you fly and are "forced" to sit next to a fat person, remember what they went through to have an semi-ordinary trip that you took for granted until you boarded the plane.

 


6 ways to say suck it!, you cant kill my dreams

What happened to the dream

I used to dream of one day being a celebrated singer. When I was in junior high school, I used to tape (telling my age) all the latest songs from the radio and play them back over and over. I would sing them all until I perfected the sound of my favorite tunes. Eventually, I worked up the nerves to try out for a play at school. I decided that I was going to be the star of...Grease!!!

I have spent a large portion of my life paralyzed by the fear of looking silly. To be honest, it was a fear of what people thought of me and what they may have said about me. The effects of this compulsion currently play an active role in my decision-making process, albeit to a much lesser degree.

Laugh if you must

Dreams

If you know me, there are more than a couple of reasons I was never going to be the star of that show, but I never realized the hurdles I faced. In the end, I didn't get the part I wanted. The director relegated me to a non-speaking, non-singing role. Mrs. Little, wherever you are today, I want you to know that you suck ass and I will never forgive you for your poor assessment of talent!

I'm totally over it now though. ?

For a long time, never let anyone see or hear me sing anything. I wanted to sing desperately, but I wanted to save the remains of my pride more. This one event changed the trajectory of my stardom and now I'm here giving advice to you lovely readers. I have learned that at some point you have to be willing to tell others to suck it and go for what you want. You only have yourself to blame for the dreams you never chase.

The 6 ways to say...

  1. Negative assessments from others reflect their insecurities rather than your shortcomings: Never value anyone's opinion over your own. Feedback is one thing, being a hater is quite another.
  2. Being anything less than yourself is acting: Fake it if you want, you are the only one who has to live in your skin.
  3. You have one shot at the life you want: I think this is self-explanatory.
  4. So what if your worse case scenario comes true: There is nothing you can't handle, have faith in yourself.
  5. Ditch the dead weight: Bad friends and naysayers are not worth the maintenance, skip it.
  6. Not everyone wants the best for you: Be careful what you share with others. Some people want you to succeed and some want you to fail. If you aren't sure about what side they are on, it's probably the wrong one.

You deserve anything you are willing to work for. Get out there and go for it.

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Artist Spotlight: Daley

Daley

[metaslider id=1680]

Background

Daley is a singer, songwriter and recording artist hailing from Manchester, UK.

A British boy who grew up to the sounds of Prince, Chaka Khan, D'Angelo, Radiohead and Oasis - Daley first became prominent after co-writing and featuring on the Gorillaz hit ‘Doncamatic' under the wing of the band's creator Damon Albarn in London. He has since become one of the UK's most respected soulful exports, recording and touring on both sides of the Atlantic and working with the likes of Pharrell Williams,  Miguel,  Jessie J,  Emeli Sande,  Maxwell, Jill Scott and Marsha Ambrosius.

New Album

With a new single arriving Spring 2017, and adding the last touches to his second album project Daley is drawing on experiences both professional and personal of the last two years, honoring the loss of close friend and manager Richard Antwi, and is poised to open the door on the next chapter of his musical journey with renewed perspective... and eagerly awaited new music!

The 13-track album has been led by the Top 10 Adult R&B hit single “Until The Pain is Gone” featuring Jill Scott. Fans that pre-order the set will receive the aforementioned song, plus the funky “Sympathy” featuring Swindle.
(Read More)

The verdict:

This is the kind of music that is great for any time of day.  I especially enjoy it when I am working.  The melodies, the voice, and the beats, remind me of the feeling I used to get from listening to classic R and B. Music is the greatest communication in the world. Even if people don't understand the language that you're singing in, they still know good music when they hear it. Feelings aroused by the touch of someone's hand, the sound of music, the smell of a flower, a beautiful sunset, a work of art, love, laughter, hope and faith - all work on both the unconscious and the conscious aspects of the self, and they have physiological consequences as well. As for Daley, some of the songs he creates, have an ephemeral quality that helps me collect my bad mood when I'm ready to push my computer off the desk, LOL.

Enjoy some of his work below:

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/embed?listType=playlist&list=PLqJ_b8IWlEQP3v5iJpl-W7CIJPqoBFm3H&layout=gallery[/embedyt]


Where have all the cowboys gone?

Missing

Why am I still searching for the cowboys like me. In the classrooms, the office and creative spaces. The spaces that are non-inclusive of music and sports. Yet I love music, and tolerate sports. Continuously looking for faces like mine, and perpetually finding blank ballots waiting for their owners.

By now, I should have given up. I have not. Disseminating individual contributions, as if there is enough to go around, and searching for the illusive community that promises to reveal itself only for a moment. Closed doors and empty rooms manifest and resemble the internal void, the external lacking

Unity

Needs go unmet. Faces exactly the same is not the desired result, but that recognize a unified experience. Ones capable of giving and receiving respect for a mutual contribution, shared struggles and similar journeys.

The atmosphere is looking, requiring, and demanding the gathering. All shall be there.

You need this.

Potentially unable to recognize the need in yourself, yet willing to fill the need in others.

Risk it.

Individually able to propel and inspire , collectively able to effect change.

Spread this message of inclusion.

Shaking and shaking until apathy breaks loose. Until your value is apparent.

Recognize it, and mourn it’s disuse.

The space is cleared, the door unlocked, waiting for the impending reunion.

The responsibility of a writer is to excavate the experience of the people who produced him. - J. Baldwin


Fit and DIvorced

Ask Anything: How do I tell my husband that he is no longer good enough for me?

Today's question

How do I tell my husband that he is no longer good enough for me? I got fit. I got promoted. There are dozens of men at my work that are better looking, drive better cars, stay in larger homes, that have manifested interest in me. I decided I deserve more and better.

Response

I had to let this question sit in my spirit a little.  Anyone who has made a substantial change in their lifestyle will have the tendency to reevaluate their circumstances.  As someone who has experienced this, I can relate.  Once, I was heavier than I am today.  At my heaviest, I was 580 pounds, at 6ft 5in.  I didn't think that I looked that bad, but I was in denial.  I had a weight loss surgery, and boy did it change more than just the number on the scale.  As I began to lose weight,  the dormant parts of my personality resurfaced.  It felt really good to be the person I always wanted to be, but was too embarrassed because of my weight.

 It's ok to feel better about you

This kind of thing has a tremendous impact on the way that you see yourself and the way you feel when interacting with others.  This brings me to my point.  You mentioned that you were starting to receive attention from the men at work.  The newly found attention has more to do with the way you feel about you than the way you look.  I am not naive, however, it is clear that your "improved" figure has something to do with the attention as well. That being said, I am going to have to go ahead take my sensitivity hat off.

With all due love and respect

You are totally full of shit.  Did your marriage vows mean anything to you?  I hope that you have left some details out of this story that will upgrade my opinion of the kind of person you are.  You really need to do something to soothe the materialist beast that is taking over in your life.  How do you know that the men at work, with the better cars and homes are actually better?  How do you know they are not abusers, keeping a spare ass whipping on hold for you? Perhaps they are jealous, controlling, and unwilling to allow you the same freedom as your current husband.  There are millions of hypothetical situations I could conjure to correct your momentary lapse into ignorance, but I will stop here.

Final Answer

What i will say, your current state of mind is temporary.  You may be successful at keeping your figure but your insides will continue to be fucked up as long as you continue in this current vein of immaturity.  Sex, money, cars, all fade.  Unless you no longer value your current relationship, you need to sit the hell down somewhere.  We still love you tho sis  :-)

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Artist Spotlight: SZA

This artist needs very little introduction

SZA

SZA’s new album Crtl, released on June 9th, combines the sounds of Neo Soul, R&B, and Hip Hop. It mixes sounds and rhythms that stand apart from the typical radio or club hits that we hear today. Born Solana Imani Rowe in St. Louis, MO, SZA was raised in an orthodox Muslim household, sheltered from the influences of television and radio.

Only through her interactions with her friends and older siblings did she get the chance to hear Hip Hop of the time, namely Wu-Tang Clan, Lil Jon and Cash Money.Her follow-up EP was S, which was released in 2013, followed by Z in 2014.  Her album Ctrl was originally announced under the name A, but was later changed. SZA got her start in the music industry at 19 by doing background vocals for her brother. 

SZA

A smidge of background

This album comes through speakers like a breath of fresh air.  I'm pretty late to the party, and after some research, it was clear that this artist has been around far longer than I ever imagined. What I love about her sound, is that she is at once energetic and chill. "She was later discovered by Punch in 2011 at a music industry event, while she was there working for a clothing brand.  A friend was playing her music and Punch overheard, which led to her 2012 release of “See.SZA.Run” and later being signed by TDE in 2013."

She reeks of confidence, which comes through effortlessly in her performances.  I listened to the latest album for the last week, and I have not gotten tired of it yet, which is rare for me.  I will say that some of the songs are a miss, with some far-fetched lyrics and questionable beats.  Overall this is an A- effort, and a hard-won victory.  SZA gets the artist spotlight for being herself and being damn good at it.

 

SZA

 

In October of last year, SZA tweeted “I actually quit.  @iamstillpunch can release my album if he ever feels like it. Y’all be blessed”.  The news outlets began reporting that SZA was quitting music for good, even though the tweet was deleted later that day.  SZA said that the anxiety and frustration she was feeling in her life led her to consider walking away from music. Thankfully, none of that happened and today we have this rare gem to get us through the summer!

Check out a sample of her tracks below.

 

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/embed?listType=playlist&list=PLqJ_b8IWlEQNtoHmqcSNHlDjjX6PLiFeq&v=DcRi3j8sjtU&layout=gallery[/embedyt]


Regg's Recommendations

I Aint Friends With Your GF: NSFW

Question: Girls

"Why do heffas think it's ok to plan an all girls trip, but yet they feel like they can bring their lovers, wives, gf's, etc because they are the same sex? I think that's some B.S.  Nothing specific recently, but I think some of my friends were talking about either going on or have been on a girl's trip, but they're partners were included. I always wanted to ask how that works, but didn't want to argue or hurt anybody's feelings. In the back of my mind I'm like how can you heauxs go on or plan a fucking girl's trip and your fuck buddy gets to come because she has a coochie. Fuck that. If you can get some on this trip I want some too. Where is my husband, shit? I ain't friends with your GF!"

First of all LMAO

This scenario seems unique to me, to say the least.  IMO a girls trip is a girls trip. To me, it means a group of friends, who happen to be women go on a trip together to have fun.  Perhaps some of your friends have an alternative opinion.

  1. Define "girls trip".
  2. Let them know where you stand.
  3. Tell them to stop trying to be slick and plan a "couples" vacation if that is what they are looking for.

Answer:

Whenever I see couples infringing on the free time of a group of friends, I immediately think that there is a problem in the relationship.

  • Trust issues
  • Insecurity
  • Infidelity
  • Narcissism

Feel free to pick one of the above.  I could be wrong about their motivation, but that is really irrelevant.  Either they can commit to friend time, or the can stay at home.  Its really that simple.  Have the talk and let me know how it turns out.

 

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The road

The Road That Brought Goodbye

I have learned so far...

Alone

It happened unexpectedly. Standing in a room with people who I recognize as relatives, but have on occasion felt no connection to, I'm forced to relive the moments I have worked very hard to forget. I no longer have the luxury to compartmentalize and must now come face to face with the fact that the father I erased all emotional connection to, is now dying.

Eventually, you realize the big things, the really big things, turn out to be far less valuable than the hurt that you treasure as a result of them. Redemption is earned and not given, moreover you can only earn it from yourself. I have spent many years training myself to keep up a façade of stone and impenetrability whike crumbling underneath. Life has taught me, what I once mistook for strength was really cowardice and immaturity. At best, I can hope for healing, and at worst more hard truths.

The hour

I woke up one weekend not long ago, to what promised to be a day like any other. I received several messages from family, to let me know that our father’s condition was deteriorating. I am aware that the last 6 years have only been available to him, through various palliative treatments. Our relationship for the past 20 years has been more or less non-existent. The story is not the same for my elder siblings.

As a note, parents of children separated by large age gaps, be mindful. Help your younger children maintain those relationships with those that came before them. Growing up as an only child and knowing you have brothers and sisters is a bit lonelier than being an only child in the more traditional sense.

I’ve not lived long enough to share a life story, what I have is more a lesson. The sheer weight of hurt and broken relationships is smothering.

All at once I realized that I did actually care, in a far larger capacity than I ever anticipated.

None of this can be fixed. I cannot recapture the years that have hastened by without my permission, or the hard feelings that I have tucked away to preserve my ability to soothe my ego through righteous indignation.

The abyss that is my familial divide continues to expand, with some exception, but continues nonetheless. I blame no one and everyone, while in the end I know owning the isolation I have created is a must. Removing the boundaries, I have laced with electric toxicity is left to me.

Finally

I mourn the impending loss with a consternation I have never felt before. Simultaneously, I feel guilty for my inabiluty to connect directly with the sadness. I tell myself that I will be sad on their behalf, but in truth I regret a fully realized relationship that will never be.

I speak to him in my way hoping that after the transition my messages will be waiting for him.

I want you to know what you meant and what you missed. A part of me loves you like the little boy who always wanted what the other little boys had.

I missed you then and I miss you now.

I will give the love I wanted from you to my children. I know they thank you. I will never tell them what you weren’t, but show them what you should have been.

I love you anyway. I will always remember what you did share with me, and thank you for the strength I gained through struggle.


I don't recall asking for your opinion: Accepting Constructive Criticism Part II

Feedback / Criticism isn't all bad

criticism

When you receive feedback from someone, depending on what they say, the window for response is very small.  This means there is a moment, potentially a microsecond, when you decide to either go off or take it all in.  Remember, there is a big difference between receiving constructive feedback and being insulted.  Your job is to differentiate between the two. One of your biggest challenges will be accepting feedback from people you don't like.  This is a really big challenge because dislike is often coupled with lack of respect.

Shady co-workers are the worst.  We see them interact with others and we form opinions about their behavior, making it hard to receive anything other than an infrequent "hay" from them.  Try to remember, "even a clock with no batteries is right twice a day".  I am not going to pretend that I would be able to do this any better than you would.  The gap between knowing the right thing and doing the right thing is very misleading.  Knowing is very close, while doing is very far away.  We will just pray on this one and move on.  :-)

Success is imminent

You have managed not to trip out.  You are probably doing your best to contain yourself and not morph into any of the characters from "The Office".   The best thing you can do for yourself is keep a straight face.  Don't force a fake smile, don't laugh condescendingly (that was mostly for me), and don't move towards the person with your arms flexed! Try not to be defensive, since they are just as uncomfortable with interaction as you are.  It’s difficult to give feedback to another person . Unless they are messy, if they are messy walk away before you engage.  No follow-up.

Say Thank you

LOL! ok, I know I am pressing my luck with this one.  At the very least, say something like I will think this over.  It doesn't mean you are validating their observations, but it does mean that you took the time to consider it.

Instead of getting pissed get info

Try these questions to move the conversation forward in a non-confrontational way.

  • "Explain what you  mean by your observation"
  • "I'm not disregarding your opinion, but I do need to know what you mean specifically to address it"
  • "Have observed this behavior  before now? Was it frequent"
  • "How can we fix this and move forward"

Constructive criticism is how we learn to see ourselves the way that others see us. There is almost always a disconnect between the impression we think we make and thee impression we actually make. Learning and growing is always a choice, it's up to you to make it.  Remember, you are ultimately responsible for you.

 

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Recommendation

Is It Normal to Smash Plates?

I cooked some spaghetti for my husband afer her came home from work, but he didn’t like the taste and he yelled at me “this is shit”! He threw the plate against the wall.  The plate broke and ruined the wall with tomato sauce. Afterward, he forced me to clean everything all while insulting me.

Addressing the issue

My answer to this has a couple of different parts. Initially,  I kept thinking of ways to respond without being a condescending a**hole.  I don't think I managed a response that meets that description, so we will proceed as best as we know how.

Let's being by focusing on the words you chose to describe your situation.  You intimated you're experiencing an overwhelming sense of helplessness. While those were not your chosen words, you are clearly feeling like you have not control over your circumstances.  I have talked with many people who have expressed this sentiment.  It sounds like this situation could escalate, unexpectedly, and in a dangerous way.  If this could potentially be true, you need to seek help, to fix the situation or get out of it, quickly.

This is not normal behavior:  Adults don't throw dishes.  Most of all, they certainly don't throw dishes at those who prepared a meal for them.  When you say you had to clean it up, is that like you had to because he didn't?  Were you forced to clean up without your consent? Normally I would share a story relating scenarios to the submitted questions, but in your case, I just don't have one.

Honestly, I'm not really qualified to answer your question in a way that is meaningful, or goes beyond " Girl fuck him get out of there". I will leave you with this, get help, professional or otherwise.  I want you to know you have options, and you don't have to live in fear.  We care.

We Care

If you would like to submit questions please be sure to send email them.  You will always be anonymous.

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